Forever and... Beyond?

I don't know why, but those three words are stuck in my head. Forever and Beyond. It's like I was watching Toy Story and it froze and restart right at that part, over and over again. Maybe, nerves are getting in the way, maybe my thoughts are taking over, maybe, maybe, maybe. My mind is filled with maybes and that small simple phase.

It could be that I have been trying to write again, and getting into that zone, but truly my mind doesn't settle well with that idea. No, it likes to settle with the idea that maybe (oh here I go again), just maybe I am having doubts about everything around me. The mind - which speaks for itself most of the time- has agreed with that statement. Doubt it my biggest issue, the one I need to run past it. I need to run straight to the end zone (or something of that nature) and forget all the doubts that come running at me, trying to tackle me down. I don't do football, so here is to hoping I got the jest of it right. Probably not (HA! Doubt again.)

Maybe, I will be a good mom. Maybe, I can patch some of the issues my ex and I have... not that I want to get back together with him, but more so there is that back up when it comes to discipline. Maybe, my mom is right and I am not being a burden. But maybe, just maybe, I am a burden to them. Maybe, I can't do this. Maybe, I can. Maybe, I just need to tell my mind to shut the eff up.

Either way, my mind is running wild - getting tackled, but at least getting back up again. And now I think I use too many commas (a real problem for me - which is why I hate them). Once again tackled from what I wished to say and now it's completely forgotten. The doubt is back, as are the maybes. I need my mind to shut down (and in truth I should be doing homework.)

Until next time: don't let your maybes or doubts tackle you to the ground.

Deep Breath In, Deep Breath Out...

That's what keeps running through my head. In and out, deep breaths. Don't freak, just chill.

With everything that is going on; all the stress, depression and anxiety it's a wonder anything gets done. Not that much gets done, since I only work nine hours a week and go to school twice a week. Yet, the stress comes, the depression runs amuck and anxiety is sky high.

In and out, deep breaths. Don't freak, just chill.

A writer with writer's block. A soon to be single mom completely overwhelmed. A daughter totally on edge. A sister with little patience. A friend who truly hasn't been there. A shell of the person I use to be.

In and out, deep breaths. Don't freak, just chill.

There isn't much to be done, to be said. Hardly anything stays down. No work gets done. Energy is non-exsistant within this body. Sleep doesn't come, though life doesn't stand still. 

In and out, deep breaths. Don't freak, just chill. Best advice I can ever give.